December 2010
25 posts
6 tags
Kidney Failure.
Last night in bed, I’m complaining of a horrible lower back pain. B: Where does it hurt? Me: Like here (lower spine), and then shooting down the back of my leg. B: Yup. Definitely kidney failure.
Dec 31st
1 note
Guest Shiz, By @Doniree
“Happy to See You” While loading the moving truck in the dark…  Me: Your flashlight in your pocket is on.  Him: No, I’m just happy to see you. Courtesy of Doniree
Dec 30th
3 notes
7 tags
Sans Eyebrows.
B farts… Me: Oh, oh my God!! You’re horrible! You’re positively foul!!!! B: It’s true. It’s horrendous. I’m sorry- I thought it was just a squeaker. Me: I don’t even have to pee and I’m going to the bathroom. I don’t want my eyebrows to singe off!!! B: That’s a good idea- you’d look stupid without eyebrows.
Dec 30th
2 notes
Guest Shiz, By GirlyBitzGirl
“We’ll always have something to talk about” This is the text conversation MB and I had this morning after he left for work…  Me: U forgot ur lunch.  And it’s snowing! MB:  Omg I gotta poop Me:  Wow.  How gross and completely unrelated.  Thanks.  MB: I’m stuck doing my stupid physical so I don’t find it unrelated.  Me: Uh huh.  I hope they...
Dec 29th
3 notes
8 tags
Obviously...
B stayed up watching football after I went to bed last night. Upon entering the living room this morning, I see a (foreign) enormous orange glass on the coffee table. Me: What IS that? B: I had a glass of wine last night. Me: …… B: So obviously I drank it from my GOBLET OF FIRE!!!!!!!!
Dec 28th
2 notes
8 tags
Double Nerdy.
While driving to PA for Christmas, Zeppelin comes on the radio… B: You know why Led Zeppelin is so awesome? One: they rock, and two: they wrote a bunch of songs about Lord of the Rings. Me: I see… so it’s a double whammy! B: *nodding wisely* Exactly. Double whammy indeed.
Dec 27th
2 notes
2 tags
Guest Shiz, By Caitlin
“Usher’s Got Nothing on J” J: You know that song by Usher? The one where he says “honey got a booty like pow pow pow?” Me: Mmmhmm.. it’s called OMG. Why do you even know the lyrics? J: Well, I changed them. Me: Oh god - to what? J: “Little fluffy kitty goes MEOW MEOW MEOW..” *walks away singing*
Dec 23rd
8 notes
6 tags
Science AND French.
At Thanksgiving… B: I think we should crack that Maker’s. Brad: I agree, I think it’s time. B: *snootily* It is a digestif, after all. Me: *smarmily* Oh, really? A digestif? B: That’s right. It’s science AND French. BAM!!!
Dec 21st
2 notes
2 tags
Guest Shiz, By jenniferalaine
“Blinking?” As Kyle is still in bed, fighting his alarm and the fact that he has to get up for work: Kyle: My eyes are open… My eyes are closed… My eyes are open… My eyes are closed… I guess that’s called blinking… Courtesy of jenniferalaine
Dec 21st
2 notes
11 tags
Back Off, Scar Jo.
While watching “Dexter” yesterday… Me: So, the ladies on the Tweet are all excited over Michael C. Hall and Ryan Reynolds being newly single. … You know, cause we have such a good chance with them, now. B: *laughs* Me: And of course, there’s Scar Jo for you! B: Yeah, she called the other day, actually, and I was like “Look, you’re nice and all, but...
Dec 20th
5 notes
Guest Shiz, By Katrina
“Destroy Everything” After watching the season finale of The Walking Dead, my husband is so busy talking bombs and anti-heros that I decide to annoy him. Me: I have a question. From Grey’s Anatomy. What if I had two uteruses? And you got me pregnant in one? And then we broke up and another guy- let’s say Julian Assange- got me pregnant in the other one? What would you...
Dec 20th
6 tags
Shocking Accusations.
In the morning, I’m in bed reading as B comes in from a shower and scowls down at me, looming over the bed. B: *accusingly* You’re not a kitty!!!!!! He stalks away, full of disapproval.
Dec 18th
3 notes
Guest Shiz, by @Doniree
“Laughing Gas” *farting sound that sounded like a stomach growling* Me, knowing better: “Was that your stomach growling??” BF: “It’s laughing gas!” Courtesy of Doni
Dec 17th
3 notes
7 tags
Nothing You Can Do About It.
As I’m leaving for NYC with Cara and Maxie… B: *looking around the living room* So, I might rearrange this place while you’re gone. Me: What?? B: Yeah, you heard me. You might come back, and it’ll be allllllll different. Nothing you can do about it. Bam!!!
Dec 16th
3 notes
10 tags
This Vicious Thing.
With Murray the Monster on his lap… who, I might add for context, looked like this yesterday: B: Did you know there’s only two species in the world this vicious thing hasn’t killed?! Me: I did not… B: Yup. First is Polar bears, because they’re related. And also Blue whales, but only cause they go too deep.
Dec 15th
3 notes
Guest Shiz, By Caitlin
“I swear I’m not dating a 12 year-old.” J: You’re pretty. Me: *not really paying attention* Aww, you’re pretty, too. J: *severely pouting* I’M NOT A GIRL.  Me: Okay, you’re really handsome.  J: *very appeased* Yayyy! THAT’S the boy word for it! Courtesy of Caitlin
Dec 15th
2 notes
7 tags
Show Me Your Teeth
In a faux-argument about God knows what… Me: I will bite the fuck out of you. B: I’ll win. My teeth are bigger cause I’m a man! Me: Whatever. I had braces, and you haven’t even had a cleaning in 3 years! B: Exactly! And my poisonous teeth will infect you, like my college roommate who got a staph infection from punching me in the mouth!!!! Me:...
Dec 14th
1 note
8 tags
You Gotta Have Options.
While watching an episode of Supernatural, a spirit convinces an unfortunate man to cook his own head in a microwave. It explodes, quite graphically. B: Gross. Please don’t ever stick your head in the microwave. Me: I promise. Also, likewise. B: Mmmm, I don’t feel comfortable making that deal at this point. I’m going to keep my options open. I don’t like to restrain...
Dec 9th
2 notes
2 tags
Guest Shiz, By The Perpetual Planner
with almost 4 hours to kill after lunch in town… J: i don’t care what we do. do you want to do something? me: well, this is your planned day. so it’s all up to you. J: all my stuff is tonight; i’ve got nothing else planned. me: says the boy who was all “digestion and sex” a minute ago. J: at least i’m suggesting things! Courtesy of The Perpetual...
Dec 8th
1 note
8 tags
Dec 7th
2 notes
chichisaysrobyn asked: Googling "cat blogs" now. MUST READ THEM ALL.
Dec 4th
7 tags
Is It About Cats?
I show B this hilarious comic from “Books of Adam”. A few hours later… B: So that comic was crazy huh? Lola’s just like Boy Cat! … Really dumb. Me: Yes! Did you read any more? This guy’s hilarious. B: No. Is it about cats?? Me: No, but it’s really funny! B: Nope. If it’s not about cats, I don’t want it. Me: Darling. Listen to yourself! ...
Dec 2nd
1 note
2 tags
Guest Shiz, By Siovhan
“Shock and Awe.” While sitting on my bed eating chinese food and watching netflix… P: Ohh dude. I’m so full. Me: Me, too. I can barely eat another bite. *cue me eating another bite as P stares in awe* Me: What? I said barely. P: I feel like a 20 year old college girl: fat, sad and laying on a bed shocked by what she’s next to. Courtesy of The Siovhan Show
Dec 2nd
2 notes
8 tags
A Whole Fucking System.
In bed one night… Me: Babe, your pillow needs a cover. B: No, no. I don’t sleep on this pillow. I read with it, then put it on the floor. Me: That’s even worse! Then it touches the FLOOR while it’s naked! B: No, I put it on top of my courderoy pants! I have a whole fucking system over here. It’s science!
Dec 1st
1 note
2 tags
Guest Shiz, By Dani
“I Can Only Imagine the Indigestion.” As we are sitting in traffic on 95 on our way home from s thanksgiving raid trip on which we had brought the cat… IJ: I am checking all other cars for signs of cat.  Me: Ah. IJ: That one has no ghosts. Me: What? IJ: It had a ghost busters logo. Me: Oh. It did have a dude eating a cheeseburger. IJ: Yes, but that cheeseburger was free...
Dec 1st
1 note