May 2011
5 posts
7 tags
Philanthropy.
B: What do you think about our anti-hunger program tonight?
Me: The what now?
B: You know… dinner.
Is That What You Want?
In response to his complaining about how it takes me to get ready for things…
Me: Seriously? I take HALF as long as the average girl to get ready for stuff!
B: Well, I don’t think in those terms, dear. Unless you want me to go live with a different girl for a month, so I can come back and be all, “Yes darling, you are so amazing! You are the best at getting ready!” Is...
6 tags
Beard Splinter?
Last night, on the couch.
Me: So how was your day?
B: Pretty rough, actually. Lots of boring meetings, and then I got a beard splinter.
Me: You got a what?
B: A splinter in my finger. From my beard.
Me: I’m sorry… are you saying that you IMPALED your finger on a strand of hair?
B: It’s a very manly beard!! Look how strong these hairs are!
6 tags
Sweet and Quiet FTW.
B: You were a drunkface last night.
Me: Ha, yeah. Sorry about that.
B: No, you were very sweet. You just told me you loved me occasionally and then you’d snuggle. Sometimes when you’re drunk you like to talk a lot. This was better.
Me: ….
B: Not that your talking isn’t great. But you know… if I was ranking your drunks, quiet Rachael wins.
Cool Kids.
Me: You have cat hair in your beard.
B: That’s right. All the cool kids are doing it.